Because these are stressful times and laughter can be the best medicine we offer the following. We invite you to add you favorite funnies in the comment section below.
Enjoy!
My Self-Isolation Quarantine Diary:
Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have No clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a Spider today. Seems nice. He’s a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidently touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals led the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?
Border police have just seized 2 tons of toilet paper hidden in cocaine.
I'm trying to make protein shakes, but they keep coming out as margaritas.
I just got gas for $1.59. I ain’t gonna tell you guys where cause I see how y’all did the toilet paper
While everything is getting shut down… maybe they should pave the roads.
Everyone keeps saying there is going to be a baby boom when this is all over. There may be a lot of Divorces and Justifiable Homicides too.
Your grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on the couch. You can do this!
Thoughts and prayers going out to all the married men who’ve spent months telling the wife “I’ll do that when I’ve got time.”
Does anyone know how long toilet paper will last if you freeze it?
Where will you travel next?
Las Kitchenas
Los Lounges
Santa Bdroomes
Porto Gardenas
Los Bed
Costa Del Balconia
St. Banio
La Rotonda De Sofa
